Nink Archives

September 19, 2021 by Laura Resnick

Nink: How To Write Body Language That Goes Deeper Than A Basic Shrug

This article by Joanne Grant is from the September 2021 edition of Nink, the monthly newsletter of Novelists, Inc. (NINC). Nink, which is packed each month with informative articles for career novelists, is a benefit of NINC membership.

It is widely believed that at least 50% of human communication is nonverbal. That means that if you rely on dialogue alone to convey character, emotion and behaviour, then the reader will only get half of the story. But how do you utilise body language successfully and in a way that is more compelling than a run-of-the-mill nod or shrug?

In this article, I will give you tips on how to approach body language to ensure it has purpose and meaning, and how to go deeper with your body language descriptions.

Find the significance of body language scene by scene
Watch how humans interact. We’re always moving our bodies, either consciously or subconsciously. If you don’t describe enough body language in your writing, your characters can come across as wooden and unbelievable because this isn’t how people interact.

However, it would be a mistake to try and capture every gesture and twitch a character makes. That would soon become distracting for the reader.

So, when is it good to show body language and what purpose can it have? Let’s look at some examples:

Convey emotion – Using nonverbal emotional responses can have far more impact than verbal responses alone, and emotional reactions are a great way to build and reveal character.
Set the tone – Body language can convey tension and mood. If a character stands rigid and glowering when we first meet them, we can assume the situation they’re in isn’t great.
To break up dialogue – Stretches of dialogue can feel like floating heads having a conversation. Interjections of nonverbal description will break up the dialogue and bring the scene to life whilst enhancing the meaning of the dialogue.
Show character – Body language can help deepen characterisation. A lot can be inferred by the way someone moves and their facial expressions.
Add subtext – Subtle or unusual body language can hint at something deeper. This can be used to great effect, for example, in crime novels, when the reader is looking for clues to the identity of the guilty party.
Create movement – A scene lacking in any body language will feel static and unrealistic. Body language can breathe life into a scene.

Identifying why you’re choosing to add in a body language description can be a good way to determine how much description is suitable.

For example, if it’s a pivotal emotional scene, then it could have more impact to utilise a more evocative or detailed exploration of body language to convey the emotion a character is feeling. However, if you are punctuating quick-moving dialogue with movements, a lengthy pause to describe body language in detail may be unnecessary and can slow the pace.

Look at the context and what the purpose of the description is and focus on what adds to the story at that point in time, in terms of character, setting, or tone.

How to add depth to descriptions
Whether we like it or not, we all have habits that characterise us. When I asked my now husband what his first impressions of me were, he said, “You move your hands a lot when you speak.” I’m not sure if this added to our attraction or not, but either way he married me! The notable thing is he noticed my nonverbal quirks.

And it’s not all about the limbs either. We have around 42 muscles in our face that help us to convey emotions. I favoured the one-eyebrow rise during school years; it was the best nonverbal way to get my “I’m not impressed” point across to annoying teenage boys during class!

What is the meaning behind the movement?
I’d encourage you to think about how you and those around you use body language. Consider the nuances of the movements and what they mean. It’s not unusual to gesticulate when speaking, but some people do it when they are nervous, others when they are excited. Think about the meaning behind that movement, then how you can show it in more depth. Is there a slight tremble that is at odds with the seemingly confident movement in those hands?

And did I, in fact, save my most withering of one-eyebrow raises for the boys I secretly liked? Think about how you could show this with other nonverbal cues—a slight quirk upwards of the mouth, an unconscious hand to the hair.

Body language is open to interpretation and you can add depth to your description by identifying the meaning you want to convey. After all, each of us is unique, just like characters, which is why writing deeper body language will flow from getting to know your characters.

Let’s dig deeper
Think about how your character would behave on an average day. How would they walk and gesture when they talk? What about their facial expressions? Now turn the dial up—because let’s be honest, no one wants to read about an average day! How would they express themselves on an awesome day? Would their body movements change? Would their facial expressions be more exaggerated?

Now let’s get mean and dial it right back down. How about a really bad day? Think of the range of emotions: fear, grief, anger, disappointment, and how they may express them in a nonverbal way.

If you complete this exercise for two or more characters and their reactions are the same, then their unique personalities are not yet coming through with their actions. There will be similarities in the way humans express emotions—tears for grief, smiling for happiness—but knowing your character as an individual will help to create nuances in how they express these emotions. Their body language should stem from their character. Return to who they are and build out their movements from there.

The signature “tell”
Body language can be great at creating subtext by dropping clues for the reader and other characters to pick up on and interpret, or misinterpret. It can be fun to give a character a signature “tell” or a physical habit that holds greater meaning, whether they are aware of it or not.

Think of poker, where getting to understand other players’ “tells” can help you win or lose the game, depending on whether you read the tell correctly. Those tells are subtle, often unconscious movements, but in writing, they will have attention drawn to them because they will be described.

If you want to give your character a signature tell, it’s best to save it for scenes of stress and significance; otherwise it may be too obvious. And if you’re curious, look up poker tells for some inspiration of subtle movements and what they often mean.

How to avoid clichéd body language
There is a fine line between a convention of a genre and a cliché, and this can also depend on personal preference. But anything that is overused, either in your own work or within your genre, can feel tired and clichéd. So how can you avoid this?

Check repetition
Recognise if you use similar phrases, or types of signature tells, to describe body language book after book. Readers will notice if your heroine always bites her lip when nervous or characters always dip their chin to mean “yes.”

Be mindful of characters within a story displaying the same body language. This, again, suggests they are not unique characters, unless they are intentionally or subconsciously mirroring one another.

If you are repeating yourself, return to your characters and think about what body language is unique to them.

Balance is everything
Too much emphasis on body language and overly detailed descriptions can be distracting. They can also slow the pace and be disconcerting—what’s with all the arms flailing about?! And if you give your character a really quirky habit, use it sparingly and for effect. You don’t want to pull the reader out of the story.

On the flip side, too little description and you end up with one-dimensional characters and the story feels flat. Achieving balance is important in bringing your characters to life and can really elevate your storytelling.

Utilising body language is an incredible tool for showing rather than telling, as well as for creating believable, well-rounded characters. If you want to deepen the way you express body language, start with your character. If you know your character how you know yourself, you can uncover the nuances of movements and reactions.

But understanding the significance of the movement in the context of the story is also very important. Sometimes you will want to show the subtle raise of the shoulders as a character lowers their eyes and hangs their head as the fight drains out of them. And other times, you may just need to tell the reader that they shrugged.

________________________

Joanne Grant is an editorial coach with over 16 years of editorial expertise working for Harlequin. Joanne has edited hundreds of romance novels over the years and understands how to coach authors of all genres to overcome their barriers and deliver their best work. If you’re interested in finding out how she can help you achieve your writing goals, get in touch—Joanne loves to chat! For inspiration, tips and offers, sign up for her newsletter, join her Facebook group Motivation for Writers! or connect on Twitter @JoanneMGrant.

September 5, 2021 by Laura Resnick

Nink: Selling Direct Through Author Websites

This article, written by Mindy Klasky is from the September 2021 edition of Nink, the monthly newsletter of Novelists, Inc. (NINC). Nink, which is packed each month with informative articles for career novelists, is a benefit of NINC membership.

This article discusses U.S. and international taxation law, which varies by country, state, province, territory, and municipality. The information here may not apply to your specific circumstances and is not legal advice.

Authors wear multiple hats, including writer, researcher, editor, and marketer. As e-commerce continues to expand, authors can add yet another identity to their figurative wardrobe: owner/operator of an online store.

Online stores allow authors to control the sale of their books far more than they can through traditional vendors. Authors can set prices without worrying about artificial pricing floors or ceilings.* They can also offer unique products not available at traditional vendors.

Authors generally earn higher royalties on sales through their own websites than those through traditional vendors. The details vary, depending on store platform (e.g., Payhip or WooCommerce), payment gateway (e.g., PayPal or Stripe), and product cost, but most authors receive 80-85% of the cover price of their goods.

But website stores present some challenges—most notably issues in delivering goods to purchasers and in handling taxation.

I conducted a survey in late June 2021, asking authors to report on their experiences running stores on their websites. All percentages noted below are derived from that survey. (Due to rounding, not all numbers add up to 100 percent.)

Building the store
There are many customizable e-commerce platforms designed to provide individualized stores on websites. Each integrates with an existing website to display goods, allow customers to order, and accept payment. Some systems also take care of fulfillment (delivering goods to buyers).

Popular e-commerce platforms include Payhip (used by 35% of survey respondents), WooCommerce (29%), and Shopify (12%). It is also possible to build a store entirely from scratch, using HTML code to create buttons and accepting payment through PayPal or Stripe.

Not all e-commerce platforms function on all website platforms. For example, WooCommerce is designed to work as a plugin on WordPress websites; it’s not available on other website platforms such as SquareSpace, Wix, or Weebly.

Some authors (including approximately 64% of the survey respondents) set up their stores themselves, adding the code to their existing website and optimizing it to best reflect their brands. Another 6% had their personal assistant set up their stores, while 30% hired a programmer or web admin to create the store.

Once a store is created, it needs to be maintained. Software requires occasional updates to run smoothly and to minimize the risk of hacking. New products (e.g., newly published books) must be added. Authors can run sales, including special prices for specific time periods. Eighty-two percent of survey respondents reported maintaining their own store or having their personal assistant maintain it. The remainder hired a programmer or web admin for at least some of the maintenance.

Stocking the store
Once a store is installed on a website, an author has a lot of leeway about what products to stock. Among survey respondents, 60% sell ebooks and 53% sell print books. Thirty percent sell audiobooks, 35% sell swag, and 6% sell membership in classes, seminars, or public appearances.

Owning a store allows an author to develop unique products only available at that store. For example, they can build unique boxed sets, including the first book in multiple series, books collected according to tropes, or books related to a specific holiday. Authors can also pair books with swag in unique packages.

Moreover, authors can provide a high level of “fan service,” offering books in their own stores prior to releasing those books through traditional vendors. Such early releases reward dedicated readers while simultaneously increasing the value of an author’s newsletter (because interested readers will click on links in that newsletter, further building ties to the author and increasing the deliverability of future newsletters).

Delivering goods
When customers purchase electronic goods (e.g., ebooks, audiobooks, class memberships), they typically expect those products to be delivered immediately. The leader in electronic goods fulfillment is BookFunnel, which walks customers through the process of “sideloading” (adding new purchases to e-readers or computers, without the delivery apparatus of a traditional vendor). Sixty-five percent of survey respondents report using the service, which automates delivery of electronic files.

Fulfillment is somewhat more complicated for physical goods (e.g., print books, swag). Fifty-nine percent of survey respondents report that they or their personal assistant handle shipping of at least some physical goods. In addition, 18% of respondents rely on a print-on-demand store to deliver products. (Shipping directly from a print-on-demand store avoids paying twice for moving the same items.)

Tax concerns
Many authors shy away from website stores because they are concerned about the tax implications of running an online business. Recent United States Supreme Court rulings have clarified that online store owners are obligated to collect and remit sales tax for all states where their customers reside. (This represents a change from the earlier rule, where owners only needed to remit sales tax in states where the owner had a business presence. In the United States, sales tax is managed on a state-by-state basis; there is no federal sales tax.)

Some states classify ebooks as “electronic products” that are not subject to sales tax. And most states further relieve the burden through “garage sale” laws, stating that it’s not necessary to remit sales tax on small or “de minimis” sales. (One of the last holdouts for a de minimis exception, Kansas, rectified the oversight with an exception that became effective on July 1, 2021.) Laws change frequently, though, and store owners should remain current on the requirements to collect and remit sales tax. An overview of U.S. laws on sales tax can be found at Tax Jar.

Store owners may also be liable to pay value-added tax (VAT) on sales made to residents of foreign countries. While some countries have exceptions that cover ebooks, others explicitly state that all sales of all goods, no matter how small, remain taxable.

Store platform Payhip, which is based in the United Kingdom, proudly handles collecting and remitting VAT for store owners. As of this writing, no other major store platform provides that service.

Store owners take a variety of actions regarding collecting and remitting taxes. For authors based in the United States, 79% of respondents accept customers from anywhere; the others limit their sales based on country. (All respondents based in other countries accept customers from everywhere.)

Store owners based in the United States exhibited a great deal of confusion when surveyed about taxes. Some know that they’re selling taxable items. Many aren’t aware that their goods might be taxable. Many rely on the de minimis exemptions (although most say they have not researched those exemptions specifically). Some rely on Payhip (although Payhip might not remit taxes to all tax authorities worldwide).

Overall cost to set up store
The cost of installing a web store varies widely. The store requires a website (usually the same as the author’s), which in turn requires hosting from a service like SiteGround, Bluehost, or GoDaddy.

The website must use a theme or template that is capable of supporting a web store. Many of those themes and templates are free, but paid themes and templates tend to provide a greater range of functions, a more specialized design that might stand out in a crowded field, a higher level of customer support, and more frequent updates. Popular themes include Storefront, Divi, and Astra.

Some store software is free (such as WooCommerce). Other store software—e.g., Payhip and Shopify—have tiers of pricing, providing different features at various price points. Most store software providers offer a free trial for users to experiment with the features for 14 days.

Finally, website stores generally rely on payment gateways such as PayPal or Stripe to accept customers’ payment for goods. Those gateways charge a transaction fee for every sale (e.g., $0.49), plus a percentage of the cost of the item sold (e.g., 2.49%).

Of course, no single author’s store is going to challenge the reach of the Amazon behemoth or other traditional vendors. Ninety-five percent of surveyed authors noted that their website stores were less profitable than any of their top three venues. (The remaining 5% were unwilling to answer the question.) While one author reported website sales equaling 10-24.99% of their total sales and another reported website sales of 5-9.99%, all other respondents who answered the question were equally divided between sales of less than 1% and sales of 1-4.99% of their total income.

The future of stores
Many respondents noted that their stores are not currently key income-generating pieces of their sales strategy; however, they are bulwarks against the harsh strategies and potential failure of traditional vendors. Several respondents called for authors to increase the training of their readers, helping potential customers become more comfortable with sideloading.

Website stores remain a tantalizing prospect for authors. In the short term, they offer increased income, with a huge potential as customers become receptive to buying outside the structure of traditional vendors.

At the same time, creating and maintaining a store (especially the international taxation issues associated with the operation of that store) are intimidating for many authors. While there are rumors of third-party sites offering the opportunity for authors to create self-branded stores with minimal fuss, those rumors are not yet public.

*While Amazon reserves the right to match prices to other vendors—including authors selling direct—they’re unlikely to discover pricing on most authors’ websites.

________________________

USA Today bestselling author Mindy Klasky’s most recent novel is the romantic comedy The C Word, the first volume in her Love in the Age of COVID series. Klasky learned to read when her parents shoved a book in her hands and told her she could travel anywhere through stories. As a writer, Klasky has traveled through various genres, including romantic comedy, contemporary romance, and traditional fantasy. In her spare time, she knits, quilts, and tries to tame her to-be-read shelf.

August 20, 2021 by Laura Resnick

Nink: Front & Back Matter ~ Dress Your Novel For Success

This article, written by Mindy Klasky is from the August 2021 edition of Nink, the monthly newsletter of Novelists, Inc. (NINC). Nink, which is packed each month with informative articles for career novelists, is a benefit of NINC membership.

As authors, we pour energy into creating our novels, drafting, and revising and polishing until every word sings. But all too often, we send those creations into the world dressed in the equivalent of a burlap sack, setting the story between hastily thrown together front matter and back matter. (Front matter is simply the material that appears at the front of a book, before the story itself—think title page, “Also By” page, etc. Back matter is the material that appears at the back of the book—think “About the Author” page, etc. Front matter and back matter, taken together, are a book’s supplemental matter.)

The primary goal of supplemental matter is to sell the specific book in which it appears. That sale is made more likely by front matter and back matter that convey professionalism, reassuring the prospective buyer that an author understands basic publishing conventions such as title pages and copyright pages. “Also by” pages increase a potential purchaser’s confidence by demonstrating the author’s experience. Dedications, author’s notes, forewords, introductions, and prefaces all provide glimpses into an author’s thoughts, building rapport with would-be readers and making them more likely to want to continue the relationship by buying the book.

The secondary goal—which is almost as important as the primary one—is to sell additional books. But just as a Brooks Brothers suit stands out in a Silicon Valley office or a graphic T-shirt is frowned upon by Wall Street, appropriateness of specific front matter and back matter varies depending on setting. Ebooks and print books require dramatically different fashion statements.

A complete wardrobe
Grab a book off the nearest bookshelf. Take a peek at what’s in there, concentrating on all the things that aren’t actually the main text. Chances are, you’ll see some or all of the following, possibly accompanied by one or more blank pages:

Table of contents (originally included only in nonfiction works, but now often included in ebook versions of fiction and nominally required by Amazon for all ebooks)
Half-title page (usually including just the title, with no other information)
Title page (usually including the publisher’s name and logo and sometimes including the publisher’s location)
Also By page (listing some or all of the author’s works)
Copyright page (including a copyright notice, other legal notices, and contact information for the publisher)
Blurbs (excerpts of reviews or other promotional material specifically for this book)
Dedication
Epigraph
Author’s note
Foreword, introduction, or preface
Prologue
(The actual text—the one thing on this list that is not supplemental matter)
Epilogue
Afterword
Endnotes
Index
Acknowledgments
Interview with the author
Book group or classroom materials related to the book
Promotional material for other books by the author, including teasers (typically in the same series, but not always)
Promotional material for books by other authors
Invitation to join the author’s newsletter or other social media
Request to review the book
About the Author page
About the Publisher page

A slim silhouette: ebooks
The selection of specific supplemental matter varies by format because readers experience electronic books and print books in very different ways. (Some traditional publishers have not recognized this different experience; many ebooks published by traditional publishers retain the identical supplemental matter as their print books. This arrangement is not optimal.)

Front matter is often dramatically curtailed in ebooks, supporting authors’ primary goal of selling the current book. This abridgment is a natural consequence of many vendors providing a free sample to potential ebook buyers, allowing them to read a percentage of the book for free. (The specific percentage varies from vendor to vendor.) Authors benefit by providing as striking a sample as possible, allowing the prospective purchaser to experience the author’s writing style, ideally hooking them to the extent that they buy the book.

Extensive front matter cuts into the “meat” of the sample available to possible buyers. Extensive blurbs, long lists of other works by the author, and promotional material for the publisher all build a barrier between the reader and the actual text of the novel.

Technically, no front matter is necessary; however, most authors retain a few basics: a title page, a dedication (if they’re including one in the book), and a prologue (again, if the story calls for one.)

All other supporting material—even the table of contents and copyright page—is shifted to the back. Once there is no longer a danger of alienating a reader who is considering a sample, possibilities open up. For example, an “Also By” list might include every book written by the author instead of a select few. A teaser might include entire chapters, rather than a few pages.

The whole nine yards: print books
Print books, on the other hand, tend to retain more front matter. Even though many potential purchasers of print books will use a vendor’s preview function (e.g., Amazon’s Look Inside feature), most print books retain the traditional front matter structure set out in the bullet list above. This structure is likely a holdover from traditional publishing, the source of the vast majority of print books sold.

Print books generally do not include as much supplemental matter intended to sell additional books. These choices are based, at least in part, on the nature of the medium, as well as the cost of paper and shipping. Most print books do not include a request for the reader to review the book or to sign up for the author’s newsletter, in part because the immediacy of that request is diluted by the reader’s need to set aside the book, to pick up an electronic device, and to follow through on the request. Teasers for other books tend to be relatively short—a few pages rather than complete or multiple chapters—because the cost of materials, manufacture, and shipping is relatively high.

Individual fashion statements
Within the general framework of ebooks (sparse front matter, more elaborate back matter) and print books (more elaborate front matter, relatively sparse back matter), authors still must make choices when they select and order their supplemental material, based on their specific publishing goals and their understanding of the publishing business.

The most important element of back matter is the one that immediately follows the actual text. Readers are far more likely to see that element as they tap to read the next page or turn an actual print page. (Their attention will likely wane with each additional element after the conclusion of a satisfying story.)

Some authors prioritize long-term connections with readers. For them, getting newsletter subscribers is the most important way to make additional sales. By definition, readers following a link to a newsletter sign-up will not be making an immediate purchase; however, they may be more likely to buy books in the future, based on the newsletters they receive.

Other authors prioritize the certainty of making an immediate new sale. Those authors will likely include a blurb, teaser, or sample chapter(s) for a specific book or books.

Still other authors prioritize building a community with their readers. They believe that their readers will be more likely to buy additional books if they “know” the author through websites, including social media. Those authors will conclude their main text with immediate invitations for the reader to visit Facebook groups, Instagram feeds, or other social media.

The nitty and the gritty
Once an author determines specific elements for front matter and back matter, those elements should be presented in a unified fashion across all the author’s books. Templates simplify this structure.

New authors and authors who value their time more than their royalties might rely on the templates created by Draft2Digital. This consolidator allows authors to distribute their work to multiple vendors with the flick of a few keys. Authors can designate supplemental matter, allowing Draft2Digital to compile electronic files incorporating that content across an entire catalog. (Of course, Draft2Digital charges for its services—15% of all books sold through their platform.)

More experienced formatters or authors who don’t want to pay Draft2Digital’s royalty share can create a template. In Vellum, for example, authors can create a file that contains each supplemental matter file, formatted according to the author’s preference. Then, it’s a simple matter to save that file under a new name for each new book, importing the specific narrative chapters to finish the book. (My Vellum format file also includes a page where I document each change I’ve made to my supplemental matter, stating the date and the change.) Similar templates can be created in other systems such as Scrivener or Word.

Front matter and back matter remain valuable tools for authors working to sell one book or an entire catalog of books.

Sample copyright page
Traditionally, the copyright page is printed on the back of the title page, with the text starting at the bottom of the page. A complete copyright page includes:

***

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

This is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real locales are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

[If a reprint: This book was originally published under the title [Title].]

[If you have licensed copyrighted work, such as a song:

[Title of song]
Words and music by [Author of song]
Copyright © [Year] by [Copyright holder of song]
[Rights notices required by license, such as Used by permission of [Rights holder]]]

Cover design by [Designer name]

Published by [Publisher name]

[Publisher address]

ISBN: [ISBN]

Discover other titles by [Author] at [website]

[Optional date code, indicating the date this book was last updated: DDMMYY]

________________________

USA Today bestselling author Mindy Klasky’s most recent novel is the romantic comedy The C Word, the first volume in her Love in the Age of COVID Series. Klasky learned to read when her parents shoved a book in her hands and told her she could travel anywhere through stories. As a writer, Klasky has traveled through various genres, including romantic comedy, contemporary romance, and traditional fantasy. In her spare time, she knits, quilts, and tries to tame her to-be-read shelf.

August 5, 2021 by Laura Resnick

Nink: Baby Talk ~ How To Write Kids’ Dialogue That Doesn’t Suck

This article, written by Marsha Zinberg is from the August 2021 edition of Nink, the monthly newsletter of Novelists, Inc. (NINC). Nink, which is packed each month with informative articles for career novelists, is a benefit of NINC membership.

I can still remember a marketing debrief from my early days at Harlequin, when the folks on the ninth floor discovered to their surprise that a romance novel with a toddler pictured alongside the heroine and hero on the cover had outsold most of the other books offered that quarter. Babies, it turned out, helped sell books.

These days, it’s a given that certain genres in popular fiction can benefit enormously from the inclusion of child characters, as they offer wonderful opportunities for creating subtext, irony and humor, and, of course, can do much to help reveal the character of the protagonists. And that’s why it’s so important to get these young characters to come across the page as authentically as possible—as fully realized people, rather than the cutesy, over-the-top stereotypes I’ve sometimes encountered.

Many authors are lucky enough to have a natural ear for dialogue, including knowing instinctively how young children speak. But even though they may be parents, some writers rely on memory that may be faulty or, worse yet, assume they can just make up how toddlers acquire and express language. But with a speech-language pathologist daughter to whom I’ve turned to authenticate children’s dialogue many times during my editing career, I’ve learned that language development is not random, and in fact usually follows a very predictable pattern. Understanding that pattern can be a terrific help in generating children’s dialogue that sounds accurate and natural.

Sound and vocabulary development
Let’s say Jessica and Mark are taking 18-month-old Amy to the zoo. The dialogue might go something like this:

“Look, Amy! Can you see the monkey?” Mark pointed to a tree branch at the top corner of the enclosure.
“Up, dada! Up!”
Mark obligingly hoisted the toddler onto his shoulders for a better view.
“Montey!” she shouted. “OOO! AHH!”
“Yes, it’s a monkey! He’s saying, ‘OOO-OOO AHH-AHH!’”

Amy’s dialogue is consistent with developmental milestones for her age. Here are a few to keep in mind:

Toddlers can understand many more words than they can say. At 16 months, a toddler may understand 100-200 words but may say fewer than 50.
The first consonant sounds to develop for English-speaking children are p, m, n, h, w, and b. These are followed by k, g, t, d, and ng. At this age, it would be unlikely for a child to use consonant clusters such as tr or sp. So at two, it’s most likely still an itsy bitsy pider.
The first categories of words they will use are usually content words like nouns, verbs, and adjectives. And those nouns will be concrete, like dog, rather than abstract, like joy.
First words are usually not more than two syllables in length.
For sentences, a good rule of thumb is: two-word sentences for two-year-olds, three-word sentences for three-year-olds, four- or more word sentences for four-year-olds.

By 18 months, toddlers begin to identify themselves by name. There is also a rapid vocabulary and sentence structure growth after this time; some precocious children (Aren’t the majority of fictional children precocious?) can have vocabularies of 500 words by their second birthday, and they will also start to use prepositions and pronouns, though not always correctly: Me go to the zoo! They are able to use their words for many purposes, from labeling their toys to asking where Mommy is, to wailing a protest at Grandpa.

Grammar and sentence structure
Amy is now about three and a half years old, and her dad, Mark, is totally stressed out because the babysitter didn’t show up. (Jessica is no longer on the scene, having disappeared under very mysterious circumstances!)

“Okay, kiddo, you’re going to stay with Grandma today,” Mark told his daughter as he bundled her awkwardly into her car seat.
“Daddy go to work?”
“Yup, Daddy’s going to work, and Daddy is late, and you’re going to Grandma’s.”
“No! I go to work too! I go with Daddy! No Grandma’s!”

Amy’s grammar and sentence structure has become a lot more sophisticated in a relatively short time frame. Some of this is due to a child’s ability to begin using auxiliary verbs, regular past tense forms, and some progressives and adverbs, which certainly makes writing dialogue a lot easier and more interesting.

Here are some grammar and sentence structure factors to keep in mind for a two- to three-year-old character:

Transitioning to longer word combinations may actually have some toddlers using three- and four-word combinations by 24 months: they may combine two two-word phrases, so that “baby eat” + “eat cookie” becomes “baby eat cookie,” or they will add information to shorter sentences that they already say, so they might add “big” to “eat cookie” to come up with “eat big cookie.”
They will also combine words to describe how objects or actions are located in space: “push me” at the playground or “doggie house” to describe where they stashed their baby sister’s blankie.
Because they are beginning to pretend in new ways, such as giving toys a voice, or acting out events they have heard of but never experienced (like being on a pirate ship), sentences become richer and more imaginative.
Irregular past tenses will continue to up the cuteness factor of toddlers’ speech sometimes all the way into their fifth or even sixth year: my four-year-old grandson told me proudly that he “writed with a cursor on the computer.” When his same-aged cousin was corrected for saying “I standed on the ladder,” he, still mixing up regular and irregular past tense, typical for children this age, altered his sentence to, “Okay. I stooded on the ladder.” This little guy understood his language needed to show something that had already happened, but despite this, children in preschool or even at early school age don’t have the same ability as adults to understand and describe time. Concrete markers, such as “two sleeps” or “one Paw Patrol” are much better understood and expressed than “three weeks ago,” “in the summer,” or “in half an hour.” Similarly, young children express time differently than adults. “Tomorrow’s tomorrow is more likely to be uttered by a child getting ready to start school than “two days from now.”

Theory of mind
Mark and Amy, now four and a half, are out shopping for a birthday present for her best friend.

“Okay, Amy, what should we get Lily for her birthday?”
“Slime. When I was at her house, we played with slime, and Lily really loves it! But I thought it was gross. For my birthday, I want new paint.”

I’ve found that one of the essential areas of child development that trips up writers relates to what psychologists term “theory of mind.” This is simply defined as the ability to attribute mental states—beliefs, intents, desires, emotions, and knowledge—to ourselves and others. And the above piece of Amy’s dialogue demonstrates that she can now do this.

In fact, as children move toward the age of four, they continue to develop a deeper understanding of what goes on in their and others’ minds. They come to understand that people talk and act on the basis of the way they think the world is, even when their thoughts do not reflect reality. As a result, at this age, your child characters can now begin to lie, trick and joke with others—all of which makes them better able to communicate about individual experiences and a lot more fun to write!

When you are writing young children’s dialogue, don’t be tempted to jump the gun and create conversations out of step with the child’s typical stage of development. Spend some time with a child the age you want to portray, or take yourself off to the playground, sit down on a bench, and just listen to how kids speak and interact. It will be a win-win for your adult characters…as well as your readers!

Handy references

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Marsha Zinberg spent more than 30 years of her publishing career at Harlequin, where she served as executive editor of several romance lines, as well as men’s adventure and Worldwide mystery. These days, she regularly edits several NYT best-selling authors and specializes in developmental and line editing for both new and returning clients. You can check out her editorial services on her website, or contact her directly at marsha@writetouch.ca to discuss your publishing goals and how she can help you achieve them.

July 21, 2021 by Laura Resnick

Nink: Tips for Using Episodic Television Techniques in Your Novel

This article by Ines Johnson is from the July 2021 edition of Nink, the monthly newsletter of Novelists, Inc. (NINC). Nink, which is packed each month with informative articles for career novelists, is a benefit of NINC membership.

Since I was an adolescent watching Saturday morning cartoons and weekday Afterschool Specials, my storytelling brain has been primed for episodic structure, commercial breaks, and weekly cliffhangers. So, it’s no wonder that when I shifted my focus from writing short films, documentaries, and children’s media, I brought along many of those tools and techniques to keep my readers’ butts snug in their favorite recliners and turning pages.

In television we have to address the reality of hundreds of channels at the flick of a remote button. We also have to contend with commercial breaks in the middle of our story. Despite the proliferation of streaming channels now that allow viewers to binge watch shows without commercials, the weekly format that was ubiquitous in the past is still around. Because appetites can go unquenched for seven whole days before the viewer can watch the next installment, screenwriters and producers have had to develop tricks and tools to keep the audience engaged for those long and short periods of time.

Many of the tricks and tools from scriptwriting work amazingly well in novel writing. My favorite trick is using TV buttons to end a scene or a chapter. What’s a TV button? Read on...

I think Shonda Rhimes, and her writing roundtable, are some of the most skilled and prolific storytellers of our times. Yes, I said prolific, and I’m going to stand by such a big SAT word. Prolific actually means producing much fruit. I don’t know about you, but I love fruit. I can’t get enough of the juicy, sweet treats. From Grey’s Anatomy to Bridgerton, I am a devout follower of Shondaland. But where I felt Rhimes shined as a craftsperson was in her political thriller Scandal.

Here is a link to a free download of the pilot episode script so that you can follow along.

Where most screenwriters are taught to button up their acts, Rhimes plays fast and loose with that rule and goes so far as to button up her scenes. Like a period, exclamation point, or question mark, a button is a punctuation mark at the end of an act (or chapter in a book), or in Rhimes’s case, it’s the end of a scene.

When we think about punctuation marks, we most commonly think of, and use, the period. A period signifies the end, finality. You won’t find many period buttons in Rhimes’s scripts. You’ll most often find exclamation points, which indicate strong feelings and high volume. In fact, the exclamation point wasn’t introduced until the 1970s, and then only in comic books to indicate a gun bang or punch!

Button up your act
The pilot episode of Scandal is divided into five acts. Acts typically end at commercial breaks. The commercial break is a dangerous time for television writers because the audience now has a choice of getting up to use the facilities, grabbing a snack, or, worse, turning the channel. If you study the end of each act in Scandal (or Grey’s Anatomy), Rhimes buttons up each act-end by raising the stakes before the commercial breaks. The punctuation marks she places at each break serve to keep her audience pinned in their seats.

In “Sweet Baby,” Act One ends with a murder suspect walking into the office with blood literally on his hands. Act Two sees that murder investigation and raises us a POTUS (President of the United States) embroiled in a sex scandal. In Act Three, Olivia’s conservative-soldier client, the alleged murderer, gets arrested because he refuses to be “outted.” By the end of Act Four, Olivia “handles” the POTUS’s sex scandal by destroying the life of the president’s accuser/mistress who then tries to kill herself. In the middle of Act Five is where we learn the biggest scandal of them all: that Olivia and the president were having an affair. By the end of the show, the stakes are raised sky high when Olivia, feeling betrayed by her married ex-lover, takes the president’s mistress on as a client.

I strongly feel that these act ends are all exclamation points! They’re also a lot to cover, so this breakdown will only focus on the first act. The first act of a television show is known as the Setup. A Setup has three goals: to be immediate, quick, and grab attention.

Act I, scene 1: Exclamation button
The setup starts immediately with the first scene. We are introduced to newcomer Quinn, who’s trying to escape an undesired blind date. Rhimes grabs our attention with witty dialogue delivered by attractive individuals. Quinn believes Harrison is her date, whom she wants to ditch. Harrison is nonplussed by her attempts; instead he seems amused. We want to see how this ends, and then...surprise! It’s not the man that every woman dreams of getting set up with. No, it’s better. It’s a dream job, and, of course, every 21st century woman is going to jump at the chance of her dream job. Though Quinn doesn’t shout out loud at the prospect of working for Olivia Pope, strong feelings are written all over her face at Harrison’s offer. “I wanna be a gladiator in a suit” is said with wide eyes and quiet awe. The scene is quick in that it is fast-paced, giving viewers not a single bit of dialogue or action that lags.

Act I, scenes 2-4: Dash button
In the second scene, we meet the famous Olivia Pope and her dashing rogue of a colleague, Stephen. We meet them in the midst of a deal about to go wrong. Olivia momentarily halts the conversation with Stephen about engagements to smooth over the dilemma of two Russian bad guys pointing pistols at each other. Olivia comes off as badass, uber-confident and smart. With the deal settled, she and Stephen take their “package” and continue their banter about his impending nuptials as though no one was just in mortal peril.

The scene starts with Olivia and Stephen—then there’s a conflict, which is resolved—and the scene concludes with Olivia and Stephen continuing their banter. It’s a set of dashes. The dash is a handy device. It’s informal and essentially playful, telling the viewer/reader that the story is about to take off on a different track, but also that it’s still in some way connected with the present course. The playfulness comes across in the scene as Olivia and Stephen leave the danger giggling over how much they love this job.

Act I, scenes 5-7: Exclamation button/act end
Scene five starts with Quinn, our novice, coming into the extraordinary world of Olivia Pope and Associates. Through her, we begin to learn the rules of this new world. Olivia’s crew is introduced, along with their respective duties, and Quinn is quickly schooled that this is not a law firm but a firm of problem-solvers. We learn the package Olivia negotiated for was a kidnapped baby who is promptly picked up by its diplomat parents.

The Setup is complete by the end of scene five. Everything and everyone we need to know has been established. Now the story is about to get moving. A disabled, Iraq war hero appears in the office lobby with blood on his hands. “My girlfriend. She’s dead,” he says. “And the police think I killed her.” In a comic book, the exclamation point follows the BANG! In this scene, the gun has already gone off and we are seeing the effects of the aftermath. Harrison turns to Quinn and says, “Welcome to Pope and Associates!”

Early on in our grade school education, we are taught how to construct sentences in order to get our points across. Today most of our writing is peppered by the point of periods. Punctuation marks such as exclamation points, dashes, and even ellipses, we’re told to use sparingly. Rhimes and her team pay no heed to that grammar lesson. Their characters shout it out, are elliptically coy, and dash off with our hearts. And it has paid off for them episode and episode again!

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Lover of fairytales, folklore, and mythology, Ines Johnson spends her days reimagining the stories of old in a modern world. She writes books where damsels cause the distress, princesses wield swords, and moms save the world. Ines writes books for strong women who suck at love. Aside from being a writer, professional reader, and teacher, Ines is a very bad Buddhist. She sits in sangha each week, and while others are meditating and getting their zen on, she’s contemplating how to use the teachings to strengthen her plots and character motivations. Ines lives outside Washington, D.C., with her two little sidekicks who are growing up way too fast.

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